So far I have not really talked about my spirituality. I feel very connected to the spiritual realm and work with Spirit and Devine guidance in my professional practice as well as with my personal life — guess that’s a good thing for a Spiritual Psychotherapist and Spiritual Director 🙂
As with all other areas of this blog, please take what feels right for you from my spiritual entries and leave the rest behind. Having said that, I hope the spiritual calls out to you as I cannot emphasize enough how important I believe our spiritual practices and beliefs are as we journey along our personal paths.
I have a number of divination cards that I frequently refer to. One of the sets of cards is “Touched by a Horse — Whispers from a Horse’s Heart – Cards of Inspiration” by Jan Taylor and Melisa Pearce. They are beautiful cards with very insightful messages. Today I was drawn to those cards. I sat and asked to be connected to Mac, my horse who crossed over six years ago. I asked him for a message for today. This is what I got:
Occurrences are not what they may seem. Not all things which may feel or appear to be false or troubling at this time are as traumatic as they appear on the surface. You are being called upon to move into acceptance not of the situation or the negativity but of the truth that everything has a purpose and a reason for occurring. All will work itself out for the highest possible outcome. Release all fear. Let go of your illusion of control. At this time, your lesson is about acceptance, trust, and faith. Accept that all is divinely guided, and that what you cannot yet see is still perfect as it unfolds.
I read this message several times because I know, that even though it completely resonates with me, it is possibly one of the hardest lessons I will learn in this life – trust, faith, letting go of control. Control is what keeps me safe! Trust and faith all sound pretty scary, especially since they mean letting go of control!
I do get the message about a ‘purpose and reason for occurring’. Yet, there’s the other part of me that just doesn’t get it. The part of me that argues strongly with the fact that this is happening at all.
Release fear…..I do not fear Maggie’s death. I do not fear where she will go. I do not fear the place she will be going to. In fact the opposite. Having done past life regressions, myself and with clients. Having done Life Between Lives journeys, again myself and with others, I know that place we go to is indescribably peaceful, beautiful, and amazing in every way. I do fear being without her. I fear what it will be like to wake up in the morning and not have her clear, wise eyes, and smiling face to greet me. I fear walking into the house and not have her right at the door with that joy in her eyes at seeing me. I fear not having the joy and love that comes into my heart when I see her. I fear not having that special bond, that only she and I have. I fear not having that and everything else Maggie represents in my life. I fear the emptiness, the vacuum that will be created when she is no longer here.
As I was sitting here feeling so lost and overwhelmed with these fears and wondering how I would begin to release them and let go of control – illusion or not, feeling this was more than I could do, I looked at the clock – 4:44 p.m.
I also firmly believe that numbers are significant and come to us with messages. So, I looked up the number 444 in Doreen Virtue’s Angel Numbers book and here’s what it said:
Thousands of angels surround you at this moment, loving and supporting you. You have a very strong and clear connection with the angelic realm, and are an Earth angel yourself. You have nothing to fear – all is well.
How much stronger and clearer could the message be! That there is a Devine purpose to this journey and I am not alone. I am surrounded by angels and other Devine beings who will help me along the way. I know that. I knew that. But i obviously needed a gentle reminder and am so grateful for receiving it.
As I re-read the Acceptance card again I wonder if the acceptance is accepting all of what I’m experiencing and what I fear experiencing. Accepting that there is a higher purpose to what we are going through on this journey. The weekend after we received the diagnosis, I struggled with this. I felt so strongly that there had to be a higher purpose, otherwise none of this made sense. Why was this happening to Maggie? Why now? Why this painful, dreadful, aggressive cancer? As I wrote earlier, I believe this blog is part of the higher purpose but I know there is more. Maybe part of the trust and acceptance is being patient and letting it unfold. Being in the moment enough to be aware of what is happening around me. To really hear those Devine messages. Because they do come. What just happened here this afternoon clearly demonstrated that to me. Once again.
So, please, when you begin to feel overwhelmed by your journey, take a moment to become still and quiet and go inside, use Divination cards or whatever works for you. Accept what comes to you into your heart. Knowing that you too are not alone — Devine Angels and Beings are with you at all times. Just waiting for you to ask for their assistance. Take in that wonderful supportive energy that will come to you, when you open up to it – in so many shapes and forms. Remember too that Maggie Soo, Tara and I are sending you love and support.
Phebe, Maggie and Tara