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First Weekend in the Loss of a Pet Journey

September 7, 2010.

This was one of the worst weekends I have ever spent in my entire life. The only good thing was that Maggie Soo was not in a lot of pain from the biopsy and the painkillers seemed to be working well for her.

We spent most of Saturday and Sunday being quiet. I cried most of the weekend . Every time I thought of her not being in my life anymore, the pain would just wash over me. So we sat on the couch and I watched a few movies which I haven’t done for awhile — nothing like a little healthy escaping. They were definitely “light and fluffy” movies that didn’t challenge intellectually or emotionally.

I’d get up to do something and this wave of exhaustion would hit and I found I could hardly move. Not much got done. Getting through those first couple of days was really, really hard.

One of the things that helped were all the calls and e-mails I got from friends and people I hadn’t heard from or connected with for a long time. I’d sent an e-mail out to everyone saying that Maggie was going in for an ACL operation and asking them to send her lots of love and positive energy. It was so wonderful to have the support of so many people. And to have all that loving energy coming in. I strongly encourage you to share your feelings and engage the help and healing energy of others. It is so much more powerful when it comes from a group.  

By Monday, the challenge was keeping her quiet. The vet had said no running, fast stops or quick turns. So, no jumping off the deck, running to the back of the yard, quick turn, running and forth across the back of the yard after squirrels. In other words, no being Maggie. I put an X-Pen (basically a portable wire fence for dogs) across the opening in the deck so Maggie and Tara would not be jumping off and running around. Maggie was pretty good about it all until Monday. By then I had to hold her back and let Tara run off the deck. Saturday and Sunday, she’d just watch but by Monday she’d had enough and wanted to do it too. As I’d hold her she’d cry. Which would made me cry. How long could I keep Maggie from doing what her heart cried out for?

So we went for a lot of short walks all around the neighbourhood and on different trails down by the lake. They were very short on Saturday and got a little longer as her strength came back.

Barb came down on Monday with her three King Charles Spaniels — Maggie, Alley and Wendy — who Maggie and Tara adore and we went for a short walk. I think Tara wants a King Charles Spaniel…

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